gggrrr

yes I know there are spelling mistakes in the post below but blogger won't let me edit them. gggrrrrr

Long Weekend

What a mixed weekend we have had..... We spent some time with Mum on Fri/Sat and then gave her and John a quiet day at home alone on Sunday. Mum was looking very unwell on Saturday and was extrememy tired. When I rang her Sunday she was quite breathless and somewhat confused but said she felt okay.
Monday however was a different story. I got a phone call from Mum Monday morning checking I still coming over as she was feeling very ill. So I sent Tony and the kids off to the Lucas Family Easter and headed over to Berry. What a trip... bumper to bumper traffic through Nowra then it cleared as I got north of Bomaderry then I hit Strongs Road turn off and from there I got out of 1st gear once! It took me over an hour to get to Mum's! (it's normally a 20min trip) and knowing she was waiting on me to get there it was a rather stressful trip.
Mum was very, very breathless... she was very tired and finding it difficult to speak. We just spent some time sitting quietly together and just being there for each other.

So where are we now? Mum is still very breathless and tired. After seeing the doctors today it was decided to keep her home for now (Mum was so sick yesterday she suggested ringing Karinya which was a MASSIVE thing for her as she has done everything she could to avoid that). They are doing some fiddling with her pain medications and we wait and re-assess on a daily basis. Knowing Mum she is going to keep fighting as long as she can.... after all she has already waaaayyy surpassed the original expectations.

With all the stress going on around here lately I spent some time hiding away in my craft room (yes I should have been doing housework). Mainly tidying up etc.. I hadn't unpacked since going away to the scrapping retreat in February so I did that and then I sat down and scrapped. I had gone in there just to have some time away from the world and was surprised that I ended up actually doing some craft.

This page was put together out of a kit I bought at our LSS when it first opened. It was the biggest rip off I have ever bought and I have actually not bought from there since. This was their opening special "mystery kit" It cost $5 and all that was in it was this one sheet of paper, a short strip of pink ribbon and one silver flower. Every time I have opened this pack I have been frustrated at the price of it and put it away again.
Anyway I sat down and decided to use it. the page is quite simple and basic but hey...... I SCRAPPED!
It says all I wanted to say. My kids have been an amazing support to me over the past few months. The days I feel like I am barely holding on this young lady will cook dinner and Kyle will just open his arms and give me a big hug. They truly keep me from collapsing. I have to stay strong for them and to be there for them.

Bucket Lists

We have been busy lately working with Mum on ticking off things she had left on her bucket list There were people she wanted to see before she died and at the end of this week we will have managed to get all of them here to see her.
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She finished this beautiful book..... It is a wonderful collection of memories of her childhood, school years, family life, married life as well as dreams, advice for the future generations. She was determined to get this done and we finally got it completed last week.
She had a very special movie she wanted to see and a MASSIVE thank you has to go out to my wonderful friends SJ and Matt for getting this to us so that she could watch it.
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We have sorted out family heirlooms and distributed things to the people she wanted to have them.
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The beach has always been an important place to our family and Mum's dream was to get back to the beach one more time. Yesterday was a gorgeous day and she was having a good day so we headed up to Gerringong. Firstly we stopped at Werri Beach for fish and Chips. Before heading to the beach so the kids could go swimming and John's son could head out on his paddle board to catch some waves for Mum as another thing on her Bucket List was to see him surf. He is a surf lifesaver and does a lot of competitions but Mum had never seen him in the water. We sat Mum up on the beach where she could watch the kids and have her feet in the sand. It was a lovely day and we had a good hour or so with Mum before the pain got too bad and she had to head home. It was a very special day and one I will look back on fondly. Another day on the beach with my Mum to add to the many beach days over my life.

So we have nearly ticked all the boxes on Mum's bucket list. The one last big thing is not acheivable but we have managed to get so much done (Mum's big dream was a hot air balloon ride)

Anyway, it got me thinking...... what would you have on your bucket list? If you knew you were dying what would you do with your last weeks? I think mine would be very similar to Mum's..... Catch up with special friends, leave memories for those left behind and time on the beach.

My long term bucket list includes a trip to England to see where my Mum grew up. I would love to see Venice, learn another language and have a special "Girls trip" - a holiday with my closest friends would be my ultimate dream.

so what is your bucket list?

Happy Birthday

On Saturday night Tony and I went out to dinner to celebrate a very special 60th birthday. Jenny has been my "other mum" for over 20 years. Heidi and I met and became friends immediately and I was also just as quickly accepted into their family. Through those tough teenage years I often ended up at the Layland's (and in turn Heidi sought refuge at my house when needed). We saw each other through ups and downs. When Heidi left town with the show (yeah, yeah I know... no circus was available at the time) we kept in touch and I still visited the Layland house often. This family have shared so much with me * I was first (apart from her parents) to know Heidi was pregnant * I was there when Adam (Heidi's son) was born * We have seen each other married * When I was baptised in my late teens Jenny stood there beside me as my support person. We have laughed, cried and shared so much together so it was lovely to celebrate another occasion with them: HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY OTHER MUM

Phew - made it

Yay managed to update my blog before the month was up! Lets start with the mad dog! Wow has he changed and grown. up - putting these two photos together makes it so obvious... did someone swap our dog? The past month has been a hard one. Any spare time has been spent with Mum.... sharing stories, reminiscing, organising funerals, discussing life in general and catching up with friends. A lot of Mum's friends have been over to say their goodbyes and it has been interesting catching up with all of them. Lots of stories of school and early adulthood as well as life as a parent have been discussed and I have learnt lots of news things I had never known about Mum! She is getting weaker and weaker but keeps surprising the doctors who expected her to die weeks ago... boy she can be stubborn! Her pain relief has been increased on numerous occasions and she is very tired most of the day. She has a couple of good hours each day and we take advantage of these to sit and chat (she can stretch out on her lounge). Some days I take a book along and just sit beside her and read whilst she dozes. Its nice just to be together.

In the midst of this my kids have been my saving grace. They are wonderful and try to help out where possible. My house has become a bit of a shambles and they are helping out with a lot more chores to try and keep this place tidy. We were also blessed to have some of Tonys family cook some meals for us and drop them around one day. It has been such a wonderful blessing to have a ready cooked meal just needing to be heated up at the end of the day. Oh... and they were yummy!

Anyway as a thankyou for the kids and just to remind them that life can be good and to put a smile back on their faces we took them away for a couple of days. We had planned on going down to Melbourne these holidays but with Mum getting so weak we didn't want to go that far or for too long so we went up to Sydney on the first Sunday of the school holidays.

We dropped our bags off at our motel (Oaks Harmony Apartments.....lovely!!) and headed down to Darling Harbour where we wandered around, checked out shops, and Tasha managed to walk in every water feature she could find!

Monday morning we got up and walked across the street to Central where we caught a train down to Circular Quay to catch a ferry across to Taronga Zoo. Then we caught a bus up to the front gates and started our day!

We had a great time. It was such a great day and I am so glad we did it. We saw lions and tigers and bears... oh my! We saw birds, baby elephants, wombats, tassie devils, chimpanzees, big cats, reptiles etc etc. The kids had a great time and it was so wonderful to see the fun on their faces.

Then we caught the gondola - sky safari back down to jetty to catch the ferry back to circular quay.

We went down to Darking Harbour for dinner and then went around to the Lindt Cafe as Tasha had been hanging out for a strawberry platter...... to find they close early on Monday nights! We got there to see a dark closed up cafe :(

We caught a monorail just to round off the day.... so in one day we caught... a train, a ferry, a bus, we walked, we went on the gondola and the monorail!

The kids were very excited by the lights and the stalls and Kyle got a new lightsaber (ooops his mum broke his last one!) and Tasha got flashy bunny ears. And then proceeded to hop the whole way from Harbourside to near the big Park (can't remember what its called).

We laughed and had heaps of fun and I am so glad we did it.

Then on tuesday we came home via Miranda Fair.... We headed to the Lindt cafe for Tasha and guess what..... they had run out of strawberry dipping plates!! So the poor girl had to have chocolate mud cake instead. Oh and we got one job out of the way... Tasha and I both got new clothes for Mum's funeral. Thats one more job I can tick off the list!